What I Really Meant to Say
by George1
Summary: Relena sees Heero a few years after Endless Waltz


Hello everyone. Here is one of two fics I thought of in the car on the way back to college from my parents house. They are both from Relena's perspective. I think she is a little obsessive

in the series, but I still like her character in Endless Waltz.

  
  


Title: What I Really Meant To Say

Author: George

Rating: PG

Pairings: none, really

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing characters or the Song "What I Really

Meant to Say" which is by Cyndi Thompson.

'. . .' lyrics

". . ." conversation

What I Really Meant To Say

'It took me by surprise

When I saw you standin' there

Close enough to touch

Breathin' the same air'

I was very surprised to see you at the party I threw tonight at Sank to

celebrate five years of peace between the Earth and the Colonies. I never

thought after the Mariemaia incident that I would ever see you again. But

here you were standing in the crowd of hundreds of people waiting for my

grand entrance.

'You asked me how I'd been

I guess that's when I smiled and said just fine

Oh, but baby I was lyin'

After the speech I gave to thank everyone for coming and to enjoy the

festivities. I went to talk to you. I truly expected to have left 

after or even during my speech, but you stayed.

"Hello, Heero. I is good to see you. How have you been these five years?"

"Fine. How have you been?"

That must have been the longest sentence you said to me other than "I will

kill you." "I have been fine, kept busy trying to protect the peace.

Thanks to Une, Noin, and the Preventers, thinks have been easier than if I

had to do it all on my own." Which was the truth, but not what I really

meant to tell you.

'What I really meant to say

Is I'm dyin' here inside

And I miss you more each day

There's not a night I haven't cried

And baby, here's the truth

I'm still in love with you

(And, that's what I really meant to say)'

I vowed that I would tell you if I ever saw you that I was still in love

with you, but I could not do it. I knew you did not love me that way. You

did care for me on some level, as a friend. And for me that was enough,

even though I wanted more. "So Heero, have you kept in contact with the

others?

"Some."

"Well Wufei should be here some where since all the Preventers were 

invited. Also Sally made it an order that they come. Quatre said he would try to

show if his business allowed the weekend off. Hidle came with her husband,

but Duo had to work late and took a later shuttle. He said he would be 

here late tonight, when all the fun starts. And Quatre said if he came he would

bring Trowa, who is now working for him in security. If you want to go 

look for any of them I understand."

'And as you walked away

The echo of my words

Cut just like a knife

Cut so deep it hurt

I held back the tears

Held on to my pride and watched you go

I wonder if you'll ever know'

"Thanks. It is good to see you doing well, Relena. You are a strong and

fair advocate for peace." And those where the last words you spoke to me 

as you walked across the room to leave or find the other pilots. I will never

know if you came to see them or me, but I know that I will also hold a 

place for you in my heart, even if I didn't get to tell you that.

'What I really meant to say

Is I'm dyin' here inside

And I miss you more each day

There's not a night I haven't cried

And baby, here's the truth

I'm still in love with you

(And, that's what I really meant to say)'

I know you made me stronger, and for that I am thankful. But I am not as

strong as you, or how much you think I am. I still cry most nights over 

not telling you how I feel, or over just not seeing you. I would like to be

stronger. I am learning to be stronger and maybe some day I will tell you

that, among other things.

'What I really meant to say

Is I'm really not that strong

No matter how I try

I'm still holdin' on

And here's the honest truth

I'm still in love with you

And, that's what I really meant to say'

Someday if we meet again, I will try and tell you what you mean to me. I

vow that I will tell you I love you, even if you don't feel the same. I

will tell you that what I really meant to say tonight is that I will always

love and care for you Heero.

'That's what I really meant to say

That's what I really meant to say'

the end


End file.
